92 Minutes
Directed By: Newt Arnold
Written By: Christopher Crosby and Mel Friedman
Staring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Donald Gibb, Forest Whitaker, Norman Gibb, Bolo Yeung, and Roy Chiao
You break my record, now I break you, like I break your friend. -Chong Li
When I think of Bloodsport I always think of Chong-Li’s chest and the fact that his pecks are so big they could compete with Pam Anderson’s. That’s a monumental talent no matter who you are. Bloodsport should by all means be considered a bad movie, but thanks to the outstanding martial arts and of courseChong-Li’s amazing chest flexing this movie just becomes awesomely bad and definitely a trademark of Jean Claude Van Dammes career.
Bloodsport is about a super secret, super hidden contest in Hong Kong where the best of the best (sure it’s the martial arts version of Top Gun, except an illegal fight, with a bromance, a blond chick out to further her career, campy eighties music, a cocky brute of a short lead man………and…….wait…..maybe it IS Top Gun? No volleyball scene. OK, not Top Gun) battle till the death for a title of ultimate warrior!
The acting is terrible, but somehow it works with the rest of the campy behavior and story telling going on. It’s hysterical that every moment of intensity is conveyed through the actors by squinting their eyes. If eye squinting happens, you can be sure something important or drastic is going to happen. Even with Forrest Whitaker has one tough fade going, but even his talent and exceptional hair doesn’t really impress.
The fact that the acting pretty much stinks is fully compensated by the insane martial arts. Jean-Claude spin kicking and the monkey battle dude take the throw downs to another level and the film thoroughly impresses AND entertains from this perspective. The action is top notch and really the heart of this film. The fight scenes are engaging by today’s, yesterdays, and tomorrows standards. It’s still just as fun to watch, even though it has a silly back story and a cheesy soundtrack playing in the back round.
Bloodsport is a great and simply fun movie. It never takes itself too seriously, and even when it does, it’s easy to laugh off. The martial arts are enrapturing and the story and dialogue is so silly it’s impossible not to laugh. There are great movie moments to be remembered here, and while it isn’t what one may call a “great” movie, it is all about entertainment and fun. Get some popcorn, maybe a few beers and just enjoy Bloodsport for the simplistic good natured wicked cool movie it is. Spin kick Jean-Claude, spin kick!
You break my record, now I break you, like I break your friend!!!!!!!!! BOOM! YES!!!!! haha
like you said, its fun and entertaining, but not great. I want to give this movie a perfect score based on pure fun but…well, I guess being critics we now better than that
I have never seen this movie heard pretty silly things about it, maybe I should watch it sometime. lol
That bad music is some of the best parts of those films. Brings back all those headbanging memories. I haven’t seen this one in a very long time and forgot about that monkey battle guy but as soon as I read that I could picture him in my head. So awesome.
I’ll never forget the splits between those two chairs….cinematic hotness….and of course spin kicks cause no one does them like Jean-Claude….and by the way he’s still hot as hell
I love this movie and I gotta agree with hagiblog that the music is one of the highlights of this movie. It’s just all around a great movie.
LOL @ the Top Gun comparison.
Saw this film SOOOO many times during the Halcyon years of the $1.00 cinema’s in town. Still have a few friends I can make laugh just by saing ‘Noooo…..Duuuuukes. Like put up your duuuuuuuuukes.’
Large Chinese Man Breasts are no match for Belgium legs!!